i knew this day was coming. i was told it would be hard.
Honestly today i woke with a fever and have not spent much time out of bed, but it is still the day.
The day i had circled and starred on my calendar, the day my ticker was counting down to and the day i was looking forward to being MOST thankful for this year at Thanksgiving dinner. . .
i am ok. GOD has been so good to me and has strengthened my relationship with Himself, Mr. J, my sisters, and even a few knew ones started.
On Sunday at church, we sang "Everlasting GOD" (originally written by Brenton Brown)
A familiar song that struck a different chord in my heart this time.
"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord
Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our strong deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles"
As i sang GOD reminded me how He had been strengthening me as i was learning to wait on Him. Daily strength was rising in my life that could only come from Him. Strength that was empowering me to face each new day with peace and understanding that His ways are not our ways.
As this day approached, i have had some really down times. Days where the drop of a hat would get me teary eyed- not quite a hat, but definitely a baby wrapping their fingers around one of mine, seeing friends get pregnant after their own miscarriage and the delivery of babies that would have been Enoch's friends. i am genuinely happy for them as i offer congratulations and interest in their little ones.
i love babies! i long for the day that i will be asking for your prayers as begin the journey again!
But for now, GOD is strengthening me- He is using others to minister to me, and it is my prayer that i have been able to minister to other people!
