Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Trying to get a handle on things...

In just under a week, I will reach my three month mark of being married. . . That doesn't even seem possible! In some ways it seems I have been with Jon forever... And in other ways it seems like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle. All the books, wisdom from those ladies I admire or seminars could not have prepared me eough for the journey I have set my feet to. (though they all have helped) "It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to." Bilbo Baggins Now I am not aimlessly wandering through my marriage, but there have been time when I have wondered, what all I have gotten myself into. I talked to my doctor the other day... There have been some things that I could not name, but I knew were not right. (ever have that feeling?) I sat there and poured out my concerns, things I thought it might be, and some ideas that may help cure. He just listened and then told me He already knew the severity of my condition. It apparently is very serious, and very common, and if not caught early enough could become so bad it would start to effect all areas of my life... Plankeyeosis. Really? Me? What happened and when it first came on, I don't know, I am just so glad that I talked to my doctor when I did. Plankeyeosis is something that starts in the brain... It starts eating at thought patterns and then emotions start shriveling up with it, especially when plankeyeosis flares up around the ones you love. I always thought that I was a fairly positive person, but the reality of the fact that I had it- and after being diagnosed, I could see exactly what my doctor was saying, I know now it's not enough to just be positive. I have had to change some things in my life to get this better. I could not have done it without my doctor, though. He told me some things I needed to look-up and read, and then some exercises I could do. I have only been working on it a couple of days, but the results have already made a difference! I have been able to encounter various hurdles and maintain a sense of joy and peace. Times with my husband are relaxed and enjoyable, all because I changed my focus. You see, plank-eye-(osis -had to sound all legit and medical)is simply where your focus turns to the speck in the lives of those around you. Whether it is in what they say, or do, you allow that to consume you. It becomes terrible for you when the "plank" in your own life begins to fester. Not only are you knit-picking them apart but your own infection is growing and consuming you. My doctor talks with me daily. Gives me areas to focus on, and the moment I feel it start to flair-up, I just give a quick call and He reminds me of what He's already done for me, and how I would be without Him. I don't want to keep talking in riddles, though I'm sure it's not too hard to figure out what all I'm talking about. I was allowing joy to be robbed from my marriage and even time with "my doctor" due to little things that I would take personally. It seemed like nothing could be said or done without setting me off and flipping my mood into something that was not at all a joy to be around... I feel bad for the way I had been treating my husband, and the selfishness that had crept in and was taking residence in my heart. I mentioned earlier changing my focus, and it has been SO very helpful! Now when something happens that stars to set me off, a little reminder from my doctor and a quick dose from His helper, I calm wwaayyy down! Some on the verses that has been most helpful lately is... 14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, 15 having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, 16 and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. Eph. 2:14-16 Jesus is our peace. He is at work in us. Breaking down walls between us. He is making us new. He is making us one. I am glad that I have been diagnosed and am getting better. This journey is far better -even with hard to swallow lessons- than anything I ever could have dreamed. Eep!

Sunday, April 08, 2012

"that" girl. . .

When i was younger- i read a great book by Debi Pearl about becoming a 'Help Meet'.
In my life, my goal was to learn and start working on ways to be the BEST wife/helpmeet for my husband.
This is a great ambition, but can be difficult when you dont know who he is, and the personality he will have. . .
In Mrs. Pearl's book, she breaks guys into three categories. They are labeled
Mr. Command Man
Mr. Steady
Mr. Visionary
With each character she breaks down how they may act, think and ways you as a helpmeet can be a support, strength, fan, and of course helpmeet!
i have not re-read her book in a few years, but not long after meeting Jon, i have realized i have married Mr. Visionary. =)
i want to go and re-read the book, but i have learned one thing... He dreams BIG!
i dont EVER want to be a wet blanket to his goals, dreams, or ambitions... even if i think things should be done differently. i can be supportive, a voice of reason, but HOW i respond will affect him and his future visions and dreams.
After talking with him the other night, he gave me a hug and told me "thank you for being so supportive"
i told him this, (and it is something i want to stay true to it)

"i would much rather be the girl that holds your kite's string, than the one that pops your bubbles"

Monday, April 02, 2012


As you can see my blog is in the construction phase of a much needed makeover!
Now that i am married, i would like to think i will be a better blogger- but seeing that i have been married almost a month (that does NOT seem possible!) and i still dont have crucial items unpacked, i am not sure that its off to a good start....

i decided with the new address, and name change we might as well and get a new job too!
(not really- God led this opportunity to me and so i am taking it. i was not looking and as excited as i am to start next week, i am nervous too!)
i am wrapping up my last two events at the SBCV and my last week at Chick-fil-A. i have made managers question, and customers cry, i have had the support of the church planters and the prayers of my family. (which i covet if you feel so inclined to lift up the sporadic blogger to our Father- He knows all the details)

Anyways, i wanted to share the blessings from my wedding. But seeing how my time is stretched thin with many things right now, i dont have the time. So i point you to this blog. K is such a sweetheart and did an A-Mazing job with pictures at my wedding! Not only did she catch the raw candid shots, but edited and compiled them B-E-A-Utifully! i hope you enjoy seeing some of the fun we had, and hopefully there will be more pictures and posts to come--- soon!

Thursday, March 08, 2012

my story

my story is history.
our story is HIS story!

i know it has been a while since i have really posted so, i thought i would fill you in on OUR story...
God is good.
The simple statement i often just let roll b/c i have heard it so often, is what rings loudest in Jon and i's relationship.
i have shared before about longing for my knight, wondering where he was, what he was doing and sometimes frustrated at God b/c we were not together yet.
But- God is good.
Both Jon and i had lessons to learn that would shape us into what we needed to be for the other. There are some things i wish i could have learned without going through them, but my character was refined and my dependence on Christ grew in those times.
i sit and write wishing i could be some sort of encouragement to all girls in waiting... there are times when the waiting seems too much, but remember-
God is good.
He wont give you more than you can handle and that includes the days of singlehood.
Now is your time to make a difference and invest in those around you. It maybe family, a younger girl at church, it may be a co-worker.
There were times when i would clutch tightly to a possibility, thinking, "maybe this is it!?" but the times i tried to make things happen, my way, it ended in heartache. God's story for my life may have taken long than "i" thought it should take, but it is and has been and will continue to be far sweeter with Him filling in the details!
Like any couple learning to grow together, Jon and i have had things to work on and through. Do you know when guys say one thing and girls hear it another, friction may arise? ;) Communication is probably THE biggest thing we are working on. Its not enough to just talk to each other, but how we talk, share and encourage each other!
The one thing that has been the most helpful is where Christ has been in our relationship. Keeping Him center is really the only way to be in a relationship worth having!
i know there have been times when i have been "too busy" to spend time deepening my relationship with Christ. (so not true, you make time for the things that are important to you)
On those days- when i jip my time with Abba, things tend to happen that bring out the yuck in me! To the point where i dont like myself. i in turn take it out on my family, or Jon, neither of which are good or edifying to any relationship.
i say all that to say that it almost sounds cliche' to say that Christ is my "First Love" - for He totally is, but I have to keep working at that relationship, just like the one i have with Jon.
i feel it is critical to keep Christ center in all areas of life, and i have seen first hand the fruits of when He remains in the center of a blooming love relationship.
To see His creation come together the way He intended it in Eden, and then living a life that brings Him glory and honor- that is one of the greatest things in life! To know Him, and make Him known! Jon and i just have another platform in which to use to do so!
i always criticize my posts, thinking i ramble too much, though i have been told i dont blog near enough...
With the kick-off to our new life together on Saturday, i would like to think i will blog all about the details soon- but i dont want to make another empty promise to the few followers i have.
All i can say is be on the lookout, they make come!
And keep praying... pray for Jon and i as we become a physical portrait of God and His love for the church. Pray for our relationship that we always remain second in each others lives (keeping God first) Pray that wisdom would abound as we make choices and decisions for each day. Pray that Jon would be the leader that God has called him to be, and i would be the helpmeet God has called me to be, and in filling out those roles be a blessing to the other. Pray we get a hold of a budget and living together, put the needs and desires of the other before our own. Pray for our victories in the hardships the enemy will try to throw our way. Pray for your own story... and really consider giving God the pen. He is a much better author than anyone on NY best sellers list! And the story will be so much sweet because it will be YOURS!

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

an older me

this morning i had a customer come in who gave me a glimpse of what i could be like in about 50 years...
she and her friend started telling me about their morning, and how they had just come a funeral. . .for the 100watt light bulb! they giggled and laughed as they told of their adventures and things like that they did for fun. they said their kids just shake their heads while their grandkids laugh and want to join!
they were eating their (and i quote) 2nd breakfast! they were headed to a brunch before lunch after some more running around! i laughed as i told them to enjoy themselves knowing full well they had every intention to do so!