Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Baby Mine

Baby Mine, 

Its funny how the events of just a few days can put you on such a roller-coaster of emotions. 
For several weeks your daddy and i have been applying for coverage so that we could see you and make sure you are growing strong and healthy.
Like anything - it takes time. (sometimes more than is needed but it is in those times that GOD teaches us patience)
i cant say that patience is something i have down, especially when it comes to you!
Everyone looks at your momma's growing belly and swears there must be more than one. (at times i have thought this as well, but we shall have to wait and see, or so i thought)
i was finally able to get an appointment to go to the doctor today. By my own calculations, you should be 12 going on 13 weeks old. Your development has been rapid and the critical stuff would be almost complete at this time. At the doctors today, the midwife tried giving me a peak of you. My heart sank as the probe searched, and you were not found. The growing sack was there, but not you. As she switched to an internal ultrasound, we were able to see a small little budding. No arms and legs yet, and my heart skipped a beat. What was wrong? 
Why, my baby, have you not grown? 
Where was your flipping and moving little self? 
Why is your momma so big, if you, baby mine, are not? . . .
i tried very hard to not let my mind run like crazy, but one thing you might as well know about your momma, i have a very imaginative mind- usually jumping to WCS (worse case scenario) My heart was racing and i tried to stay focused on what the midwife was saying throughout the rest of the visit. 
My thoughts and prayers are for you, my little P. It is funny how soon you have become a part of our lives and how much you effect the way we think and plan already. You are loved, thought of and prayed for on a daily basis and we can NOT wait to meet you! (there are many who can't!)
If your momma was wrong on math, which is a possibility (despite what you may one day think, i am not perfect ;) ) You may very well only be 8 weeks or so old- which would be right on target for what we saw today.
There are more tests to be run in two days, and in two weeks i get to have another peak at your growth and knitting that is taking place in my womb. 
Our GOD is good and taking good care of you. 
Rest in HIS hands till i can hold you in mine. 
Your daddy and i love you very much, 
your momma 

3 comments:

wass fam said...

Aww...you're making me tear up! You guys are in our prayers as you go through this difficult time,
Kimber :)

wass fam said...

Praying!!

♥ Y'all!

~Alexis

joel & ginny said...

We are praying for you, Jon, and our precious little cousin. Love and hugs your way!