i had the realization today that for a while now i have been streaking.
Not in the physical since of running about in the nude- but spiritually.
i had the pleasure of meeting with one of Mr. J's customers, and though i knew her very little, came away encouraged and challenged.
Mrs. Edith was asking if i had my little girl in the car and if i needed to hurry and get back outside. A wave of sadness washed over as i had to tell her that i had lost my baby earlier this years.
She was very apologetic and said (like many do) that i was young and my time would come.
As i talked more with Mrs. Edith, she said in a very frank way- "Dont plan on having kids!" At first i was a bit taken back by her words, but i realized the truth in them. i have been putting pressure on myself and my husband to make things happen a certain way and in a certain time, instead of living in the time that GOD has given me!
Lately i have been harboring some bitterness - toward GOD, and even Mr.
J. i was mad at what had happened and mad that i hadn't been able to get
pregnant again. Instead of enjoying my time and making memories with
Mr. J and others around me, i was allowing the enemy to steal my joy!
Other errands awaited me and as i drove i listened to this podcast (this is the written form- if you have an iTunes account i strongly suggest syncing The Busy Mom's podcasts! They are short little blurps that encourage, refocus and challenge!) - GOD showed me that i had been fighting this spiritual battle physically.
My moods, words and thoughts have been against those around me. Pasting a smile and faking the "being ok" i had been lashing out (internally, mentally and sometimes physically) on those around me- all the while being in naught but my skin and exposed to the enemy!
GOD has laid out my "clothes" (as found in Ephesians 6) and by my choosing not to get dressed has left me embarressed and hurt.
i am so very thankful that GOD showed me this before too much time passed. In my flesh i want to try and hide myself, but then i would be following Eve's footsteps.
Ephesians 6 says to get dressed and stand!
i challenge you- whoever you may be- to forgo the living in the flesh (walking exposed) and get dressed!!