i have no excuse for my not blogging. Sure there are plenty that sound good to my ears, but they fall in vain to the ground of no one cares to hear them.
MUCH has happened since my last post. . .
And by much, i mean a whole person much!
YEP! Mr. J and i are pregnant!!!!
We found out two days before Christmas and with family in from out of town, we HAD to tell them!! Mr. J wanted to wait till after our first doctor's appointment, but i just couldnt! i needed to have that support group of prayers and encouragement around, and the way i got hit with morning sickness, i would not have been able to keep it a secret from those closest to me!
Our first appointment was Monday January 19! Such an exciting and nerve wracking day! With everything that was in me, i wanted to be excited, but the fear of what happened the last time i sat in that doctor's office was crippling me! Mr. J was so sweet and compassionate- in the parking lot before going in, we prayed: just thanking GOD for the little life we already loved SO much!
The midwife i saw was the same who went through my last pregnancy with me. She was super excited to see me back and we went straight back for the ultrasound. It was the moment of truth
-Did i trust GOD in all things, especially the life He was knitting in me?!
When the screen first came to life, the midwife goes,
"Oh look there's the sack,..."
The screen showed an empty sack-
My heart literally stopped!
"No wait, that's your bladder..." needless to say she is NOT an ultrasound Tech and did not know how to manipulate the machine properly. When at last she did find the sack there was our little Peanut! MY heart swelled and the tears streamed! We had already more baby this time than we did with Enoch. We got to see and hear the heart beat and the peace that filled me was like none other!
Two weeks later the midwife wanted to see me again. Just to make sure things still looked good and the baby was growing on target.
i will be to the first to say those were the longest two weeks of my life! i had days of extreme morning sickness (that did not limit itself to the morning) and days of fear and anxiety like i have never known before. Those days i tried praying, focusing on scripture and truths in the Word- it was a battle that God had already won, but i had to fight through. With warriors fighting with me, i made it, but there are still moment of doubt and twinges of fear.
-Did you know you will still have cramps when you are pregnant and they dont always mean miscarriage?!
-Did you know that you can throw up everything you put in your mouth and still get sick, even when there is NOTHING LEFT?!
-Did you know that more changes in your body than just sporting a babybump? (which by the way has JUST started to show)
-Did you know that you can be having a normal conversation and then burst into tears for NO known reason?!
-Did you know that anything that once made you teary, suddenly makes you WEEP?!
Anyways- the second appointment my mom was able to come with me. The ultrasound showed a growing, big baby!! They already have arms and legs, the heart beat was stronger and they were moving around!! Again the waterworks flowed and my heart praised God in heaven for this little miracle!
i can not describe the journey i have already been on with this little one. . . nor can i fathom what is left in store! i CANT believe that the second trimester is not far away and i am already a third of the way through!
Prayers would be appreciated as Mr. J and i try to figure out the steps we need to take: medically, financially, and locationally... (in the process of looking for a house amidst all this excitement!)
i will post again soon with pictures of the last couple of months- because lets be honest, thats what MOST people like best about a blog, right? =)