the new Mrs. P!!! =D
**reenactment for photo-op, though its pretty close to accurate!**
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 04, 2011
theres something. . .
Ever have that feeling like something is about to happen?
You're not sure what, when or where- but you are excited just the same?
You dont fully understand why, but you feel kind of giddy and smile a LOT?
That's how i feel. . . *SMILE*
((if you look close- there is a second arch above the one you see right away- camera didnt capture it well))
Friday, July 01, 2011
newest profile picture
So Jon and Annie- (my sister) and i decided to go to dinner last night.
Johnny Rockets is a fun place to go, and we enjoyed the time and food!
Who knew when they served us, they would give us a portrait of ourselves?
**sadly, Annie's was more of a cyclops and therefore not pictures below- it didnt capture her beauty at all!**
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Gorilla Man
Schools out, and i know that means fun for a lot of kids, but lets try to keep it respectful. You would think kids would, or at least get a clue, but sometimes they don't. Let me rewind and paint the scenario for you. . .
Picture a quiet afternoon at a wonderful place to eat, lets say Chick-fil-A. . . =) Now its the last day of school, so there are LOTS of kids and they are excited and hyper! Thankfully the play area drowns out the volume so other customers can enjoy some great music while they eat.
Highschoolers do some pretty crazy things, i've been there, and i remember doing stuff just because i could- but just because you could to do something, doesn't mean you should. Well on this such afternoon, a group of recently dismissed for the summer students decided to have some fun, that should have stopped long before it did.
Dressed in a full-body gorilla costume, a H.S. student came in to Chick-fil-A, walked around to all his friends and then headed to the play area.
The dressing up completely is dangerous anyways due to his identity being covered. If he was a masked-murderer, he picked a good mask to use, but it was just a kid going for a few good laughs, so i couldn't do much about that.
Before i could finish wiping down the table i was working on my manager was back at the play area door asking him to leave. There are safety regulations, weight limits, and now 20 screaming terrified kids clutching to their mothers in sheer fear.
He finally went to his car and removed his get-up and apologized to a few of the kids that were still crying. . . but it got me thinking.
There are a lot of times that we wear masks. Never is is a good time to do so- i am talking about the masks that hide who you are, not the ones that offer protection, those are good to wear in the elements.
No, there is never a good reason to hide who you are or make excuse for something you are doing. For whatever reason it got me to thinking about the passage in Matthew 18, where Jesus is talking about causing others to stumble. If you are masked, you are not truly being yourself, or the person God has created you to be. If that is ever the case, you are in grave danger of causing someone to stumble. This is what Jesus said, "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" (vs. 6-7)
When we were in Georgia, i saw a millstone, and well i would NOT want to have this as 'bling'
Jesus knew what He was saying, and the gravity of this situation hit hard when i realized that i should live my life in a way that would never cause anyone- much less my younger brothers and sisters in Christ, to stumble.
Picture a quiet afternoon at a wonderful place to eat, lets say Chick-fil-A. . . =) Now its the last day of school, so there are LOTS of kids and they are excited and hyper! Thankfully the play area drowns out the volume so other customers can enjoy some great music while they eat.
Highschoolers do some pretty crazy things, i've been there, and i remember doing stuff just because i could- but just because you could to do something, doesn't mean you should. Well on this such afternoon, a group of recently dismissed for the summer students decided to have some fun, that should have stopped long before it did.
Dressed in a full-body gorilla costume, a H.S. student came in to Chick-fil-A, walked around to all his friends and then headed to the play area.
The dressing up completely is dangerous anyways due to his identity being covered. If he was a masked-murderer, he picked a good mask to use, but it was just a kid going for a few good laughs, so i couldn't do much about that.
Before i could finish wiping down the table i was working on my manager was back at the play area door asking him to leave. There are safety regulations, weight limits, and now 20 screaming terrified kids clutching to their mothers in sheer fear.
He finally went to his car and removed his get-up and apologized to a few of the kids that were still crying. . . but it got me thinking.
There are a lot of times that we wear masks. Never is is a good time to do so- i am talking about the masks that hide who you are, not the ones that offer protection, those are good to wear in the elements.
No, there is never a good reason to hide who you are or make excuse for something you are doing. For whatever reason it got me to thinking about the passage in Matthew 18, where Jesus is talking about causing others to stumble. If you are masked, you are not truly being yourself, or the person God has created you to be. If that is ever the case, you are in grave danger of causing someone to stumble. This is what Jesus said, "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" (vs. 6-7)
When we were in Georgia, i saw a millstone, and well i would NOT want to have this as 'bling'
Jesus knew what He was saying, and the gravity of this situation hit hard when i realized that i should live my life in a way that would never cause anyone- much less my younger brothers and sisters in Christ, to stumble.
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Thankin' God for chicken
In the beginning, God created. . . on the forth day, that included the chicken.
For years people ate the chicken in various ways, but one man took it a step further.
Because of wanting a tasty way to eat the fowl, Truett invented THE Chicken Sandwich.
Because he created a wonderful sandwich, and franchise was born.
Because a restaurant was started, Mark became an operator.
Because he was an operator, he offered me a job.
Because i needed one, i applied and got it.
Because i got the job, i got to serve lots of people.
Because i talk with lots with guests, i got to meet Jon.
Because i met Jon, my life has been blessed....
With God's blessing, there is more to come- i'm so glad He chose to create a chicken! =)
For years people ate the chicken in various ways, but one man took it a step further.
Because of wanting a tasty way to eat the fowl, Truett invented THE Chicken Sandwich.
Because he created a wonderful sandwich, and franchise was born.
Because a restaurant was started, Mark became an operator.
Because he was an operator, he offered me a job.
Because i needed one, i applied and got it.
Because i got the job, i got to serve lots of people.
Because i talk with lots with guests, i got to meet Jon.
Because i met Jon, my life has been blessed....
With God's blessing, there is more to come- i'm so glad He chose to create a chicken! =)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
something new
standing on the edge- there is anticipation: excitement and fear rolled into one...
not knowing what will happen, but hanging on for the ride....
nervous about taking the next step, but cant wait to see if God will shine light there....
Only God knows tomorrow, but today sure has been nice! ;)
... ... ...he likes my eyes! =)
not knowing what will happen, but hanging on for the ride....
nervous about taking the next step, but cant wait to see if God will shine light there....
Only God knows tomorrow, but today sure has been nice! ;)
... ... ...he likes my eyes! =)
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Knight vs. Prince
As a little girl -and even now as a somewhat grown-up girl- i dream of my story.
When i was younger, that dream was influenced by stories and movies, that focused a "prince" to wait for. The underlying theme in them was that a prince would, some how save the day, or just because of a certain noble position, be eligible to marry the princess.
This is all well and fine, just a little off as i have thought it over more.
i think that i want to be with a "Knight"
A knight is still along the lines as a prince, in that he must be in a certain position to be eligible for the princess's hand, but this right is not handed to him. A knight's eligibility started at a young age and was a lifestyle chosen and worked for. (If i have this right- i studied medieval times, but it was a looooong time ago!!)
Knighthood training was a long and often arduous process. Knighthood training began in early childhood when a basic education and good manners and rules of etiquette were taught at home. At the age of 7 young boys were sent away to the castles and homes of wealthy lords or relatives to embark on their knighthood training. From the age of seven to fourteen these young boys were given the role of a Medieval Page. From fourteen to twenty-one these 'apprentice knights' were referred to as Squires . The different types and styles of Knighthood training depended on the age and strength of the apprentice knights. Knighthood training was focused on weapon practise which included enhancing skills in horsemanship, the two-handed sword, battle axe, mace, dagger and lance.
(i found the above on a website called "Becoming a Knight" ( www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-knights/becoming-a-knight.htm ) who woulda thunk?)
But it makes what i was trying to say all the more understandable.... i hope! :)
So with all that hard training wouldn't the Princess's hand be worth more than something handed to him because he was born in the "right family?"
i think that guys can still be knights- maybe not so much in suits of armor on a horse, its about character. What was instilled in them at a young age, and what they have trained and prepared themselves for.
In as much as i hope "he" has been preparing himself for me, i hope that i will be found ready. Everyday passes with a mix of sadness and excitement. (i am going to be honest) Sad that one more day has passed, and i am that much older... But flip the coin, and i am so completely excited because i am one day closer to being with my knight!
i tend to think of myself as an optimist. i view the glass as half-full the majority of the time, thats why my excitement outweighs the bit of sadness that is mixed in.
For all the fellows out there that may or may not ever hear of this waiting ruby in VA-
DONT GIVE UP! Keep on building that character, become that gentleman and man after God's heart! - there are a few of us gals, who are princesses in their daddy's eyes, waiting for "knights" and men like you!
When i was younger, that dream was influenced by stories and movies, that focused a "prince" to wait for. The underlying theme in them was that a prince would, some how save the day, or just because of a certain noble position, be eligible to marry the princess.
This is all well and fine, just a little off as i have thought it over more.
i think that i want to be with a "Knight"
A knight is still along the lines as a prince, in that he must be in a certain position to be eligible for the princess's hand, but this right is not handed to him. A knight's eligibility started at a young age and was a lifestyle chosen and worked for. (If i have this right- i studied medieval times, but it was a looooong time ago!!)
Knighthood training was a long and often arduous process. Knighthood training began in early childhood when a basic education and good manners and rules of etiquette were taught at home. At the age of 7 young boys were sent away to the castles and homes of wealthy lords or relatives to embark on their knighthood training. From the age of seven to fourteen these young boys were given the role of a Medieval Page. From fourteen to twenty-one these 'apprentice knights' were referred to as Squires . The different types and styles of Knighthood training depended on the age and strength of the apprentice knights. Knighthood training was focused on weapon practise which included enhancing skills in horsemanship, the two-handed sword, battle axe, mace, dagger and lance.
(i found the above on a website called "Becoming a Knight" ( www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-knights/becoming-a-knight.htm ) who woulda thunk?)
But it makes what i was trying to say all the more understandable.... i hope! :)
So with all that hard training wouldn't the Princess's hand be worth more than something handed to him because he was born in the "right family?"
i think that guys can still be knights- maybe not so much in suits of armor on a horse, its about character. What was instilled in them at a young age, and what they have trained and prepared themselves for.
In as much as i hope "he" has been preparing himself for me, i hope that i will be found ready. Everyday passes with a mix of sadness and excitement. (i am going to be honest) Sad that one more day has passed, and i am that much older... But flip the coin, and i am so completely excited because i am one day closer to being with my knight!
i tend to think of myself as an optimist. i view the glass as half-full the majority of the time, thats why my excitement outweighs the bit of sadness that is mixed in.
For all the fellows out there that may or may not ever hear of this waiting ruby in VA-
DONT GIVE UP! Keep on building that character, become that gentleman and man after God's heart! - there are a few of us gals, who are princesses in their daddy's eyes, waiting for "knights" and men like you!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
im just me
my hair's not blonde
an' im no size 2
my eyes change colors, but sure arent blue
but i love to laugh
and make others smile
stick around, ill be your friend for a while
i dont think ill get much taller
an' though im tryin'
i may not get any smaller
sun up, till it goes down
i work really hard
to get lots done at home or in town
my teeth arent straight
in my small mouth
an' the color of my hair, well its fake
though im not most guys' "type"
there IS a man made just for me
who's gonna think im out-of-sight!
Saturday, April 09, 2011
grace
For a girl who longs to be married, weddings can be bitter-sweet. Within the last week i have had three- not one, not two, but THREE wedding showers to go to! With each one that i set out to attend, i prayed that God would allow me to be a blessing, and encouragement, but also to enjoy the time of fellowship and pampering to each of these future brides. God's grace is amazing! As i came away from each one, i was encouraged. A little bit of hope kindled at each one, and a passion for Christ's love to so well up in me, that it would be the biggest part of my future relationship!! i learned lots of wisdom and advice from other married ladies that were present, all of which i wrote in a notebook for my husband, that way we can remember it together later! God is good, and to that i am holding on to!!!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
i miss him!
Its kind of funny how quickly someone can steal your heart.
One look and your breath catches in your lungs-
you swallow your heart-
and in that moment you know you would do ANYTHING for them.
He is no different- and i miss him like crazy!
The way he said my name-
and the way he'd sit and cuddle with me-
waiting for me at the door when i'd come home from work-
locking my car from the house window to hear it *beep*
just hearing him talk, and tell stories of things that happened or were important to him...
Time passes quickly... seems like just yesterday this was where we were-
We had a bond from the very beginning. . . Something about a fellow thumb-sucker, and being his oldest aunt, i don't know, but i fondly hold each memory made with him- from over night trips, cuddling in bed, or road-trips to Florida!
i can't believe that my little man will be two on Monday! He is all the way in Tennessee, and i will miss being there to dote on and celebrate with him. BUT- i will see him soon, and our relationship will continue to grow... for nothing will come between-
Bubito and Nina! Happy (early) birthday!! Love you!!
One look and your breath catches in your lungs-
you swallow your heart-
and in that moment you know you would do ANYTHING for them.
He is no different- and i miss him like crazy!
The way he said my name-
and the way he'd sit and cuddle with me-
waiting for me at the door when i'd come home from work-
locking my car from the house window to hear it *beep*
just hearing him talk, and tell stories of things that happened or were important to him...
Time passes quickly... seems like just yesterday this was where we were-
We had a bond from the very beginning. . . Something about a fellow thumb-sucker, and being his oldest aunt, i don't know, but i fondly hold each memory made with him- from over night trips, cuddling in bed, or road-trips to Florida!
i can't believe that my little man will be two on Monday! He is all the way in Tennessee, and i will miss being there to dote on and celebrate with him. BUT- i will see him soon, and our relationship will continue to grow... for nothing will come between-
Bubito and Nina! Happy (early) birthday!! Love you!!Thursday, March 24, 2011
i have something to tell you
i have something to tell you. . .
You only have one day to live- the bad news is, i should have told you yesterday!
My 10 year old sister just shared this with our family. Where she gets this from, i dont know, but it gave us a good laugh! =)
i LOVE MY FAMILY!
You only have one day to live- the bad news is, i should have told you yesterday!
My 10 year old sister just shared this with our family. Where she gets this from, i dont know, but it gave us a good laugh! =)
i LOVE MY FAMILY!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
peace--- agian
It seems that i write a lot about peace.
Well not really because i do not write a lot, but one of my more recent posts was labeled "Peace"
Its not a bad thing, one might get the idea that my life is in turmoil. But alas, God is just showing me His peace, and how truly wonderful it is!
i am not very popular, but i know a lot of people. i have a job that brings hundreds of people across my path daily, as well as social networks online, friends, church... there are lots of places that i know or see people, guys included. This is fun in a lot of ways, because i like guys. That last statement can sound really wrong if you have a gutter-mind, but i mean it just in what it says. Guys are a lot of fun. i dont have brothers so i find them interesting and amusing as they try to figure things out! They can be some of the best friends, though sometimes clueless! =) That is also ok, because we girls can give them a hard time!
All that to say is i have gotten to know several guys as friends, and some "more than friends" Due to my convictions and standards this does not mean "Friends with benefits" just that we talked and got to know each other on a deeper than friends level, i guess one might call it dating.
When i was younger i use to say i would never date until it was the one i was going to marry. And i still dont view "dating" as something to do for the heck of it. i dont really like the term dating, but no other really seems to fit. The dating relationships i have been a part of have not been just for mere pleasure, but to openly pursue God's plan and where He was leading us, maybe to the point of marriage. i have no ring, so this post is not to say that He has led me there, yet! ;)
i just have been learning to wait, and the full extent of what that means. As each door closed to the guys that i have known, a little voice in my head would tell me its because i am not wanted. How stupid is that? i dont really want to be wanted by the wrong man!! How much more hurt would that be!?!
God has a clear plan and direction for my life. Though i dont know what tomorrow holds, He does. Sometimes i find that i have to keep reminding myself of that. =) A friend sent me the following verses in an e-mail yesterday and it was a great encouragement. i am holding to them!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7
Well not really because i do not write a lot, but one of my more recent posts was labeled "Peace"
Its not a bad thing, one might get the idea that my life is in turmoil. But alas, God is just showing me His peace, and how truly wonderful it is!
i am not very popular, but i know a lot of people. i have a job that brings hundreds of people across my path daily, as well as social networks online, friends, church... there are lots of places that i know or see people, guys included. This is fun in a lot of ways, because i like guys. That last statement can sound really wrong if you have a gutter-mind, but i mean it just in what it says. Guys are a lot of fun. i dont have brothers so i find them interesting and amusing as they try to figure things out! They can be some of the best friends, though sometimes clueless! =) That is also ok, because we girls can give them a hard time!
All that to say is i have gotten to know several guys as friends, and some "more than friends" Due to my convictions and standards this does not mean "Friends with benefits" just that we talked and got to know each other on a deeper than friends level, i guess one might call it dating.
When i was younger i use to say i would never date until it was the one i was going to marry. And i still dont view "dating" as something to do for the heck of it. i dont really like the term dating, but no other really seems to fit. The dating relationships i have been a part of have not been just for mere pleasure, but to openly pursue God's plan and where He was leading us, maybe to the point of marriage. i have no ring, so this post is not to say that He has led me there, yet! ;)
i just have been learning to wait, and the full extent of what that means. As each door closed to the guys that i have known, a little voice in my head would tell me its because i am not wanted. How stupid is that? i dont really want to be wanted by the wrong man!! How much more hurt would that be!?!
God has a clear plan and direction for my life. Though i dont know what tomorrow holds, He does. Sometimes i find that i have to keep reminding myself of that. =) A friend sent me the following verses in an e-mail yesterday and it was a great encouragement. i am holding to them!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The heart speaks. . .
i can NOT take credit for the creativity of this post, nor the pictures listed. I copied them from another blog i follow because it was so great! She did a good job, and its so true! =)
Has the world completely gone mad? Really, is there any love left?? Maybe this just sounds like random babbling, but I ask YOU to take a look at these images and judge for yourself...
'Go Home.'
What?! Does anyone else remember the days when candy hearts said things like; I love you - You're Beautiful - Marry me? (although I did always wonder how many people actually used a candy heart to propose...) But 'Go Home'? Come on! A slap in the face from a piece of candy is what that is! Truly the world has lost it.
Oh yeah, this is a step up.
Who doesn't want candy with MAGIC randomly put on it?
Awwww- you're moderately fine, too.
I love you like a clogged artery in the bottom of my heart.
Oh. Sure... No, no! It's fine... I'll just... You know... Go out and buy a fax machine now...
I mean sure, movies are getting worse, kids are more disrespectful, good morals are becoming rare- But now the candy hearts are corrupt?! Pretty soon we'll have candy hearts with: I don't like you - You're fat - I know where you live... printed on them.
Colors = Happiness, so they'll probably all be black soon...
*sigh* If nothing else, the gummies haven't failed me yet.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Peace
There is a wonderful peace that comes when you leave baggage at the cross.
i have heard this before, and i have prayed before, but to take a physical action, write down the burden and tac it to the cross was a free-ing experience. Humbling at the same time, because i had to face the ugly truth of things i had been trying to avoid and step around.
i will say that hatred is awful. It will eat at you, ruining other relationships, but most importantly stunt growth in your relationship with Christ.
i have been here in this place- for too long. i have let fear, distrust, and hurt eat me from the inside out. i have had nightmares over my thoughts, and it has driven me to the passage in 1John where it talks about- "How can you love Me whom you have not seen, and hate your brother whom you have seen?" It goes through my head in circles when situations arise that make me face the persons that evoke these feelings.
i can remind myself that i am no different when i tell a "white" lie. But that doesnt help in the healing process.
Tonight, i let it go. i know that there will still be times when those feelings may rise back up, but i have pinned to the cross, and the sinless blood that was spilled on it, has covered it, and overcome it. So when those feelings start to rear their heads, i will remember the actions i took tonight and rest in the grace that God provides.
There is freedom that comes with the peace, and so now i can rest. i bid you goodnight, and if you have something weighing on your mind- take it to the cross. Leave it there- and REST in PEACE!!!
i have heard this before, and i have prayed before, but to take a physical action, write down the burden and tac it to the cross was a free-ing experience. Humbling at the same time, because i had to face the ugly truth of things i had been trying to avoid and step around.
i will say that hatred is awful. It will eat at you, ruining other relationships, but most importantly stunt growth in your relationship with Christ.
i have been here in this place- for too long. i have let fear, distrust, and hurt eat me from the inside out. i have had nightmares over my thoughts, and it has driven me to the passage in 1John where it talks about- "How can you love Me whom you have not seen, and hate your brother whom you have seen?" It goes through my head in circles when situations arise that make me face the persons that evoke these feelings.
i can remind myself that i am no different when i tell a "white" lie. But that doesnt help in the healing process.
Tonight, i let it go. i know that there will still be times when those feelings may rise back up, but i have pinned to the cross, and the sinless blood that was spilled on it, has covered it, and overcome it. So when those feelings start to rear their heads, i will remember the actions i took tonight and rest in the grace that God provides.
There is freedom that comes with the peace, and so now i can rest. i bid you goodnight, and if you have something weighing on your mind- take it to the cross. Leave it there- and REST in PEACE!!!
What was she thinking?
So last time i blogged about this guy and trying to figure out what goes on inside guys' heads in general...
But i have to say, sometimes i wonder what goes on in other girls' heads!
In my job, i get to do a lot of people watching! i witness girls in their actions and dress and have to wonder what went through their heads!
i said in the last post that girls act around guys... that is not always true. There are some girls that dont hold anything back.
i think of Ivy's sister on The Village, and she went up to Lucius declaring her love- only to be rejected and heartbroken.
i guess there is a certain amount acting that needs to be done, well maybe just being reserved and not acting. But there is also a time and a way to be vulnerable and letting someone know a little how you feel?
Honestly, i dont know. i have goofed and made blunders, but i know there is a balance.
i just want to find it before i end up like one of those girls i roll my eyes at and wonder, "what went through her head?!?"
But i have to say, sometimes i wonder what goes on in other girls' heads!
In my job, i get to do a lot of people watching! i witness girls in their actions and dress and have to wonder what went through their heads!
i said in the last post that girls act around guys... that is not always true. There are some girls that dont hold anything back.
i think of Ivy's sister on The Village, and she went up to Lucius declaring her love- only to be rejected and heartbroken.
i guess there is a certain amount acting that needs to be done, well maybe just being reserved and not acting. But there is also a time and a way to be vulnerable and letting someone know a little how you feel?
Honestly, i dont know. i have goofed and made blunders, but i know there is a balance.
i just want to find it before i end up like one of those girls i roll my eyes at and wonder, "what went through her head?!?"
Thursday, January 27, 2011
what was he thinking?
So i just DONT understand guys....
Love 'em, can't live without 'em, cant wait for my own,...
BUT- all the ones in between are mindboggling!
Why in the world would a guy friend be all, "Hey, i miss you" if he didnt really miss me?
How do i know he didnt "miss" me? Because he's done this sort of thing before.
He's just a boy who says things without thinking, wanting some kind of emotion from me, and all i have is confusion.
He told me that guys get embarrassed when they talk to girls, (i kind of just mentally rolled my eyes at that one) and i told him that it was all good because girls are really good at acting.
He wanted to know how guys could get to know the real girl.
Here's my thought on it. . .
If the guy is really intent on getting to know the girl, than he will. Through the pursuit he will break through the wall and get to know the real girl. Then he will not be embarrassed when he talks with her, and she will not be acting around him! ;)
i dont know if i will ever know what makes guys tick, or what they think, but maybe one day i will understand them a little bit more. In the mean time i will remain a friend to those around me, and maybe a little acting. . . ;)
Love 'em, can't live without 'em, cant wait for my own,...
BUT- all the ones in between are mindboggling!
Why in the world would a guy friend be all, "Hey, i miss you" if he didnt really miss me?
How do i know he didnt "miss" me? Because he's done this sort of thing before.
He's just a boy who says things without thinking, wanting some kind of emotion from me, and all i have is confusion.
He told me that guys get embarrassed when they talk to girls, (i kind of just mentally rolled my eyes at that one) and i told him that it was all good because girls are really good at acting.
He wanted to know how guys could get to know the real girl.
Here's my thought on it. . .
If the guy is really intent on getting to know the girl, than he will. Through the pursuit he will break through the wall and get to know the real girl. Then he will not be embarrassed when he talks with her, and she will not be acting around him! ;)
i dont know if i will ever know what makes guys tick, or what they think, but maybe one day i will understand them a little bit more. In the mean time i will remain a friend to those around me, and maybe a little acting. . . ;)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
words
The blank page taunts me as the cursor sits and blinks in constant reminder that i have not started writing. . .
But whats to say? Does what i feel or think make a difference? Maybe not, but it sure does feel better to get it out of the head and on to "paper" (so to speak, i'm not really writing, i'm typing, so i guess i'm getting my thoughts on to the screen?)
Anywho, lately, i have been challenged to start.
The only way i will ever finish anything is to start it, but there is a terrifying unknown that lurks when you "start"
Words are powerful. They evoke emotions, thoughts, feelings, and sometimes actions.
They allow me to revel in God's AWESOMENESS, or come face to face with things i thought i could avoid. Avoiding is still possible- i guess, if i wanted to go in to denial.... =)
Words can be truth, twisted, or out-right bullogna!
Why do i let words affect me, if i know they are not truth?
Is there a way that a person's words can really not take root? There have been things that i have rolled off my back, ignored or not given second thought to- or so i thought.
It seems in the most random of times they will come back, echoing through my brain.
i know it is an attack, and if not armored with another WORD, (the SWORD of the Spirit which is the WORD of God) - i will fall hard.
It happens often, desafortunademente' (something like that... its supposed to be unfortunately in Spanish, but i dont think i spelled it right!)
i am still learning. i have lots more to learn, but there are some things i am going to "Start" doing:
- fitting myself with the WORD, the only ones that matter anyways
- talking more to Dad, not just in times of trouble or screw-ups
- resting in the grace He has supplied, and applying it to my prayer
- read the Bible through- its slow going, but if my atheist co-worker can go through it twice, then i can do it and glean so much more!
i know that there are lots of other things i want to start, but those are the ones that come to mind right now. Hopefully i will blog more often so my posts are not so random, and long, but then i guess its whats in my head that needed to come out. . . =p
But whats to say? Does what i feel or think make a difference? Maybe not, but it sure does feel better to get it out of the head and on to "paper" (so to speak, i'm not really writing, i'm typing, so i guess i'm getting my thoughts on to the screen?)
Anywho, lately, i have been challenged to start.
The only way i will ever finish anything is to start it, but there is a terrifying unknown that lurks when you "start"
Words are powerful. They evoke emotions, thoughts, feelings, and sometimes actions.
They allow me to revel in God's AWESOMENESS, or come face to face with things i thought i could avoid. Avoiding is still possible- i guess, if i wanted to go in to denial.... =)
Words can be truth, twisted, or out-right bullogna!
Why do i let words affect me, if i know they are not truth?
Is there a way that a person's words can really not take root? There have been things that i have rolled off my back, ignored or not given second thought to- or so i thought.
It seems in the most random of times they will come back, echoing through my brain.
i know it is an attack, and if not armored with another WORD, (the SWORD of the Spirit which is the WORD of God) - i will fall hard.
It happens often, desafortunademente' (something like that... its supposed to be unfortunately in Spanish, but i dont think i spelled it right!)
i am still learning. i have lots more to learn, but there are some things i am going to "Start" doing:
- fitting myself with the WORD, the only ones that matter anyways
- talking more to Dad, not just in times of trouble or screw-ups
- resting in the grace He has supplied, and applying it to my prayer
- read the Bible through- its slow going, but if my atheist co-worker can go through it twice, then i can do it and glean so much more!
i know that there are lots of other things i want to start, but those are the ones that come to mind right now. Hopefully i will blog more often so my posts are not so random, and long, but then i guess its whats in my head that needed to come out. . . =p
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Heart Condition
beep. beep. beep. beeeeeeeeeeeeep. . .
A heart monitor hooked to a patient showing the life left inside, makes a piercing sound that either gives a little hope or breaks the hope of loved ones waiting for a turn-a-round.
i have a very serious heart condition. Depending on the activity, it could be hazardous- maybe even fatal to my health.
My heart is very frail- been broken, and longing for more, with nothing but waiting on the horizon, i have to be careful the things i am involved in.
Tonight my CG went dancing. No its not a sin, and i even tried to convince myself that it would be ok if i went, but how foolish i was! (props to my parental units who help remind me of convictions and standards that i have placed in my heart) i never want to be comfortable in the arms of any guy. To be held is a special thing i am looking forward to, but i dont want it to become just something else that i do. i have dated, and i have been hugged and held close, and as a girl, that is a secure feeling! i miss that- and to use my brothers in my CG to fulfill a slight pleasure would have been VERY wrong on my part! i feel bad even thinking that, but i have to be honest with myself if things are going to be overcome in my life. . .
i chose to go to the lesson- and just watch. i wanted to be a part of my group and be there to cheer them on, and see what it was all about.
At first, everyone stood around and there was NO contact between guys and girls. i had a feeling rise of, "i could have done that!" But as the pairs shaped up, the longing to be on the dance floor rose too! i wanted to see if i was any good. i wanted to know what it would be like to learn something with someone. i wanted it to be me out there!
As i watched them grasp hands, turn, dance closer and laugh as they stepped on each other's feet- i knew i could have done it, and it would have felt good for a moment, but my critical heart condition would have gone red-line.
The friendships i have worked hard to build and maintain, would have crumbled. Emotions would have sored and i would be lost on the rollercoaster of- "It was so much fun when we danced! i wonder, what if. . ." and so forth and so on....
i had to reign in my heart and mind- God is good and by His grace i was able to enjoy being there and laugh along with them! i genuinely had a great time being there! One day, i will be a Mrs. and with my husband -
A heart monitor hooked to a patient showing the life left inside, makes a piercing sound that either gives a little hope or breaks the hope of loved ones waiting for a turn-a-round.
i have a very serious heart condition. Depending on the activity, it could be hazardous- maybe even fatal to my health.
My heart is very frail- been broken, and longing for more, with nothing but waiting on the horizon, i have to be careful the things i am involved in.
Tonight my CG went dancing. No its not a sin, and i even tried to convince myself that it would be ok if i went, but how foolish i was! (props to my parental units who help remind me of convictions and standards that i have placed in my heart) i never want to be comfortable in the arms of any guy. To be held is a special thing i am looking forward to, but i dont want it to become just something else that i do. i have dated, and i have been hugged and held close, and as a girl, that is a secure feeling! i miss that- and to use my brothers in my CG to fulfill a slight pleasure would have been VERY wrong on my part! i feel bad even thinking that, but i have to be honest with myself if things are going to be overcome in my life. . .
i chose to go to the lesson- and just watch. i wanted to be a part of my group and be there to cheer them on, and see what it was all about.
At first, everyone stood around and there was NO contact between guys and girls. i had a feeling rise of, "i could have done that!" But as the pairs shaped up, the longing to be on the dance floor rose too! i wanted to see if i was any good. i wanted to know what it would be like to learn something with someone. i wanted it to be me out there!
As i watched them grasp hands, turn, dance closer and laugh as they stepped on each other's feet- i knew i could have done it, and it would have felt good for a moment, but my critical heart condition would have gone red-line.
The friendships i have worked hard to build and maintain, would have crumbled. Emotions would have sored and i would be lost on the rollercoaster of- "It was so much fun when we danced! i wonder, what if. . ." and so forth and so on....
i had to reign in my heart and mind- God is good and by His grace i was able to enjoy being there and laugh along with them! i genuinely had a great time being there! One day, i will be a Mrs. and with my husband -
We will dance
When the sun is shining
In the pouring rain
We'll spin and we'll sway
And we will dance
When the gentle breeze
Becomes a hurricane
The music will play
And I'll take your hand
And hold you close to me
And we will dance
SCC_we will dance-chorus lyrics
Monday, January 10, 2011
touched by lyrics. . .
i dont know if its my lack of being able to hear a beat, sing on tune, or carry the right note in a bucket, but i LOVE music... and usually am moved by the lyrics being sung. i have a hard time putting to words how i am feeling so when i hear someone else formulate it artistically- its great! The next three songs are such, and i hope they encourage you in some way!
I need to just admit, my faith is paper thin-- I'm feeling so burned out on religion
I say an empty prayer, I sing a tired song, I need to just admit that the passion's gone
And I want to get it back-- You told me Look for You and I will find
So I'm here like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus! Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
I want to learn to pray-- the way that David prayed.
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life, like only You can do-- Cause I don't want to stay the same
How long can you keep building those walls around your heart?
And how long can you keep running from who you really are?
Don't you know that He knows you- sees everything you've done
So tell me why you keep trying to fool everyone?
Do you wanna feel true redemption?
And do you wanna be free?
Let it out- Everything you've worked so hard to hide
Let it out- Leave it at the cross where Jesus died
Take off your mask- find peace at last
Cause He loves you more than you could ever know
The weary and the broken, be everything that's true
Admit how much you need healing, let Him bring it all to you!
Do you wanna have true salvation?
Do you wanna have peace?
Trade it all for love and freedom -trade it all for saving grace
Take off your mask, find peace at last
Cause He loves you more than you could ever know---Let it out
I've been here before- It's hard to ignore
I'm so used to fighting the same old wars
Oh what do you see- when your looking at me? Have I taken You for granted?
I can't afford this pain anymore, won't You help me understand it?
God can You hear me? I need You here tonight!
I'm tired of pretending, that everything's alright!
And I know, I know that You hold tomorrow, but I need You here tonight!
I want to feel, I need something real! I want to go closer to You!
I lay down my will! Oh this human disease, it's killing me! Tell me, have I been left stranded?
I can't ignore- this pain anymore! Won't You help me understand it?
Won't You say, that You'll carry me through the storm?
Won't You stay till the morning comes- just stay!
God can You hear me? I need You here tonight!
I'm tired of pretending, that everything's alright!
And I know, I know that You hold tomorrow, but I need You here tonight!
Special thanks to:
Starfield's "Rediscover You"
Chris and Conrad's "Let it Out"
and
Tait's "God Can You Hear Me?"
Sometimes when you hear a song, its just a nice song, but when you read the words, it takes on a new meaning. i hope you have a chance to hear the songs, for they really are very good! =)
I need to just admit, my faith is paper thin-- I'm feeling so burned out on religion
I say an empty prayer, I sing a tired song, I need to just admit that the passion's gone
And I want to get it back-- You told me Look for You and I will find
So I'm here like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus! Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
I want to learn to pray-- the way that David prayed.
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life, like only You can do-- Cause I don't want to stay the same
How long can you keep building those walls around your heart?
And how long can you keep running from who you really are?
Don't you know that He knows you- sees everything you've done
So tell me why you keep trying to fool everyone?
Do you wanna feel true redemption?
And do you wanna be free?
Let it out- Everything you've worked so hard to hide
Let it out- Leave it at the cross where Jesus died
Take off your mask- find peace at last
Cause He loves you more than you could ever know
The weary and the broken, be everything that's true
Admit how much you need healing, let Him bring it all to you!
Do you wanna have true salvation?
Do you wanna have peace?
Trade it all for love and freedom -trade it all for saving grace
Take off your mask, find peace at last
Cause He loves you more than you could ever know---Let it out
I've been here before- It's hard to ignore
I'm so used to fighting the same old wars
Oh what do you see- when your looking at me? Have I taken You for granted?
I can't afford this pain anymore, won't You help me understand it?
God can You hear me? I need You here tonight!
I'm tired of pretending, that everything's alright!
And I know, I know that You hold tomorrow, but I need You here tonight!
I want to feel, I need something real! I want to go closer to You!
I lay down my will! Oh this human disease, it's killing me! Tell me, have I been left stranded?
I can't ignore- this pain anymore! Won't You help me understand it?
Won't You say, that You'll carry me through the storm?
Won't You stay till the morning comes- just stay!
God can You hear me? I need You here tonight!
I'm tired of pretending, that everything's alright!
And I know, I know that You hold tomorrow, but I need You here tonight!
Special thanks to:
Starfield's "Rediscover You"
Chris and Conrad's "Let it Out"
and
Tait's "God Can You Hear Me?"
Sometimes when you hear a song, its just a nice song, but when you read the words, it takes on a new meaning. i hope you have a chance to hear the songs, for they really are very good! =)
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Voyage and other adventures
Brilliant colors.
Painted faces.
Blurry lines.
Hidden places.
Silent laughter.
Held-back tears.
Slivered hope.
Growing fears.
Questionable stance.
Forgotten times.
Backwards glance.
Tomorrow's dreams.
Unspoken wishes.
Screaming silence.
Enemy kisses.
Awaiting love.
i took my sister to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader tonight. I think she enjoyed it- as did i! i have always been a Narnia fan, i think secretly wishing it was real... so it was fun to see the next chapter unfold!
Here are some quotes i liked from it- (there were actually a lot of good ones in this movie!)
"To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness inside yourself."
"Because there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there." <-- that one is one of Aslan's last lines. Upon the realization that she will not be coming back, Lucy wants to know how she will find Aslan in her world. i love His reply!
There were lots of other good parts, and they may be stems for another blog post... for now, the line grows to get on the computer and i must sign out!
May we keep searching for "Aslan" in this world. . .
Painted faces.
Blurry lines.
Hidden places.
Silent laughter.
Held-back tears.
Slivered hope.
Growing fears.
Questionable stance.
Forgotten times.
Backwards glance.
Tomorrow's dreams.
Unspoken wishes.
Screaming silence.
Enemy kisses.
Awaiting love.
i took my sister to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader tonight. I think she enjoyed it- as did i! i have always been a Narnia fan, i think secretly wishing it was real... so it was fun to see the next chapter unfold!
Here are some quotes i liked from it- (there were actually a lot of good ones in this movie!)
"To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness inside yourself."
"Because there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there." <-- that one is one of Aslan's last lines. Upon the realization that she will not be coming back, Lucy wants to know how she will find Aslan in her world. i love His reply!
There were lots of other good parts, and they may be stems for another blog post... for now, the line grows to get on the computer and i must sign out!
May we keep searching for "Aslan" in this world. . .
Monday, January 03, 2011
Thoughts from CG
As i think back over the evening, there is a DCB song line that keeps running through my head...
"The heart breaking, makes a sound, I never knew could be, so beautiful and loud. . . "
The song continues on talking about our humanity coming face to face with God and what happens is a beautiful collision- it may be painful at times, but beauty still in it all because of the grace God supplies.
CG held a few of such collisions tonight.
We talked on prayer.
Maybe not so much of a colliding topic, but it was for me. As we shared, talked, confessed, laughed and cried, i came to the point of realizing just how desperate i am for God- despite how i may be feeling, i am in the place of desperation.
Now, in my whole "churchy up-bringing" and SS lessons through the Lord's Prayer, and learning all the acrostics you can think of for learning to pray the right way, i put it all on the back burner. i wanted to be real. i dont think i have ever been "desperate" for anything in my entire life- much less God. i have sung the songs, (Im, lost without You, Im, desperate for You. . . ) i've read the Psalms, (As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for (is desperate for) you) Really? Lip service. There has never been a time i can remember that i have been desperate for God... till tonight.
Rob-B read a part from a book(i wish i could share the name of it, but i dont know what the book was called) and it said that "God is attracted to weakness" i guess reflecting kind of on Paul's sharing "Of when I am weak than I am strong" (i think that is in 2 Corinthians??) But it got me to thinking. . .
If prayer is just a conversation, between me and God, there doesnt need to be a listed way to talk to Him, does there?
Well when we prayed tonight there sure wasnt. It was just us, and Him.
We were raw, exposed, and vulnerable - to one another and before God.
Put aside were the thoughts of what others were thinking about me, if i fumbled over words, lost a thought, couldnt use big terms... i was encompassed in the reality, that i was, and am in ever constant need of Christ. Shame on me to ever think i have it down pat.
Leftwich said it plainly- it has echoed through my heart all night.
"Help me to want to want that relationship with you"
i am confident that my relationship has already begun- but it has been stagnant for a while.
i am ready for a change. i have no words, other than the cry of my heart.
"im broken. Only You can fix me. i need You. . ."
"The heart breaking, makes a sound, I never knew could be, so beautiful and loud. . . "
The song continues on talking about our humanity coming face to face with God and what happens is a beautiful collision- it may be painful at times, but beauty still in it all because of the grace God supplies.
CG held a few of such collisions tonight.
We talked on prayer.
Maybe not so much of a colliding topic, but it was for me. As we shared, talked, confessed, laughed and cried, i came to the point of realizing just how desperate i am for God- despite how i may be feeling, i am in the place of desperation.
Now, in my whole "churchy up-bringing" and SS lessons through the Lord's Prayer, and learning all the acrostics you can think of for learning to pray the right way, i put it all on the back burner. i wanted to be real. i dont think i have ever been "desperate" for anything in my entire life- much less God. i have sung the songs, (Im, lost without You, Im, desperate for You. . . ) i've read the Psalms, (As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for (is desperate for) you) Really? Lip service. There has never been a time i can remember that i have been desperate for God... till tonight.
Rob-B read a part from a book(i wish i could share the name of it, but i dont know what the book was called) and it said that "God is attracted to weakness" i guess reflecting kind of on Paul's sharing "Of when I am weak than I am strong" (i think that is in 2 Corinthians??) But it got me to thinking. . .
If prayer is just a conversation, between me and God, there doesnt need to be a listed way to talk to Him, does there?
Well when we prayed tonight there sure wasnt. It was just us, and Him.
We were raw, exposed, and vulnerable - to one another and before God.
Put aside were the thoughts of what others were thinking about me, if i fumbled over words, lost a thought, couldnt use big terms... i was encompassed in the reality, that i was, and am in ever constant need of Christ. Shame on me to ever think i have it down pat.
Leftwich said it plainly- it has echoed through my heart all night.
"Help me to want to want that relationship with you"
i am confident that my relationship has already begun- but it has been stagnant for a while.
i am ready for a change. i have no words, other than the cry of my heart.
"im broken. Only You can fix me. i need You. . ."
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